Verfasst von: heplev Am: Januar 22, 2012
The English Plural according to…. We’ll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes, But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes. One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese. You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice, [...]
Verfasst von: heplev Am: April 9, 2011
By Richard Lederer Have you heard the one about the man who went to trial for having pulled a woman down a street by the hair? When the judge asked the arresting officer, “Was she drugged?” the policeman answered, “Yes sir, a full block.” Or the one about the woman who asked a Boston cab [...]
Verfasst von: heplev Am: September 23, 2010
A paraprosdokian (from Greek “παρα-”, meaning “beyond” and “προσδοκία”, meaning “expectation”) is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, [...]
Verfasst von: heplev Am: Dezember 7, 2009
Manche Namen sind einfach köstlich. Besonders, wenn passende Vornamen dazu kommen. Es gibt immer da zum Beispiel die Geschichte einer jungen Frau namens Rosa, die einen Herrn Schlüpfer heiratete… Axel Schweiß Mira Bellenbaum Rechtsanwalt Kotz (wurde im WDR-Hörfunk zu einem juristischen Thema befragt) Eine Senioren-Residenz im Odenwald mit der Adresse Außerhalb 11 bekommt einen neuen [...]
Verfasst von: heplev Am: November 30, 2009
Ich fragte mich auch schon, warum wir Deutschsprechenden immer noch groß und klein schreiben. Jetzt weiß ich warum: Die Spinnen Die spinnen Warum sind füllige Frauen gut zu Vögeln? Warum sind füllige Frauen gut zu vögeln? Er hat liebe Genossen. Er hat Liebe genossen. Wäre er doch nur Dichter! Wäre er doch nur dichter! Sich [...]
Verfasst von: heplev Am: November 28, 2009
1. Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things. 2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. 3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization. 4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes? 5. The main reason that santa is so jolly is because he knows [...]
Verfasst von: heplev Am: August 15, 2009
1. The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi. 2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian. 3. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still. 4. A [...]
Verfasst von: heplev Am: August 3, 2009
Here is a little quiz. Have fun with it. Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he married? A. Ruthless. Q. What do they call pastors in Germany? A. German Shepherds. Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible? A. Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation. Q. [...]
Verfasst von: heplev Am: August 3, 2009
These are from a book called Disorder in the Court, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? WITNESS: No, I just lie there. ATTORNEY: [...]
Verfasst von: heplev Am: August 3, 2009
Please read slowly – these are rather clever: 1. ARBITRATOR: A cook who leaves Arby’s to work at McDonalds. 2. AVOIDABLE: What a bullfighter tried to do. 3. BERNADETTE: The act of torching a mortgage. 4. BURGLARIZE: What a crook sees with. 5. CONTROL: A short, ugly inmate. 6. COUNTERFEITERS: Workers who put together kitchen [...]
