Schallendes Lachen

The French

Posted on: August 3, 2009

„Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion.“
–General Norman Schwartzkopf

„We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it.“
–Marge Simpson

„As far as I’m concerned, war always means failure.“
–Jacques Chirac, President of France
„As far as France is concerned, you’re right.“
–Rush Limbaugh

„The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is
sitting in Paris sipping coffee.“
–Regis Philbin

„You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the 1940s who was still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn’t have the face for it.“
–John McCain , U.S. Senator from Arizona

„The last time the French asked for ‚more proof‘ it came marching into Paris under a German flag.“
–David Letterman

„War without France would be like … World War II.“
–Unknown

„It is important to remember that the French have always been there when they needed us.“
–Alan Kent

„The French will only agree to go to war when we’ve proven we’ve found truffles in Iraq “
–Dennis Miller

Q. What did the mayor of Paris say to the German Army as they entered the city in WWII?
A. Table for 100,000 m’sieur?

The AP and UPI reported that the French Government announced after the London bombings that it has raised its terror alert level from Run to Hide.
The only two higher levels in France are Surrender and Collaborate. The rise in the alert level was precipitated by a recent fire which destroyed France ’s white flag factory, effectively disabling their military.

French Ban Fireworks at Euro Disney
(AP), Paris, March 5, 2003
The French Government announced today that it is imposing a ban on the use of fireworks at Euro Disney. The decision comes the day after a nightly fireworks display at the park, located just 30 miles outside of Paris, caused the soldiers at a nearby French Army garrison to surrender to a group of Czech tourists.

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